I haven't opened this blog to the public in quite some time. In fact in January of this year, I had to shut it down in entirety because of a stalker. Today, a four year process to have the stalker legally defined has concluded and finally this nightmare is over (well, here is hoping). This person has done everything in their capacity to destroy the social fabric of my life and at times has even succeeded.
It's one of the oddest things to reflect upon but this entire experience has humbled me in ways that I couldn't have imagined when this nightmare began many years ago. I read somewhere that sometimes you have to find peace and forgive people who are not worth forgiving and who will certainly never apologize for their actions. In the last few years I have had to do this over and over again for the first time in my adult life. In Buddhist countries they equate this with strength and true power. I'm not quite sure if I believe this but I do know that once I began to let go of the feelings of anger and anxiety associated with the stalker, wonderful things began to happen. I met more and more like minded writers and artists and human beings more aligned to my way of thinking and believing. The circle of negativity was gone and I chose to live a happy life that was never again going to be influenced by someone else's actions or non-actions. One good thing after another began to occur. The cataclysmic moment came in the autumn of 2014 when I met someone special who opened a lot of doors for me professionally. All of a sudden film writing, a dream I had long harbored became a reality. That would certainly never have happened given the environment which was my world only eight years ago, an environment filled with energy-sucking individuals through whom the stalker was introduced into my life. I cannot quite say that I forgive the stalker but I have learned to let go, take the higher road and aim high every time they aimed low (do not mean to sound like Hilary Clinton but it is a great line). I stopped reacting to their every move and learned that silence is golden and often the best response. In a nutshell, living through this has been one of the greatest educational experiences of my life. I've become a stronger and more compassionate human being, a better listener, a more acute observer, and ultimately a better writer than I was before. Whereas I used to think that I was the only person in the world that such a thing could happen to, sharing this experience with other people made me realize it happens quite a lot - especially if you are a woman, especially if you are talented, especially if someone is envious of you, and most especially if you are a writer.
If you've never had to deal with a stalker then count your blessings. It's not a walk in the park, rather one of the most horrible experiences anyone can ever have to go through. People often ask me what its like and the best way to describe it is like living in a city under siege. You never know when there is going to be an attack but each time it happens you just get better at preparing for the next one. Over time you become more immune and numb to it. This person (and in my case she was a woman ironically enough!) has not only caused me a lot of unnecessary grief and anxiety, she has done the same to my friends and family. I do not know why she stopped over the course of the last few months but I am just grateful that she has.
Now that it's finally over I can get back to the art of living and writing, which is my passion and the one thing in my life I have truly been good at. Other women are probably better at a ton of things. For me it's always been my books, my writing, my travels, my horses and my dog. I have recently started a dream job that allows me to work remotely in my beloved Europe while still splitting time in Canada with my wonderful family at The Globe. My life is truly blessed and I am so grateful. In the next few days and weeks, this blog, including my travel, politics, film and personal work, will once again be on view for all to enjoy (Jedi camp, Icelandic film sets, musings from Middle Eastern bunkers and much more). It's going to take some time so please be patient and bear with me.
In the meantime, thank you to everyone who has been supportive, inspirational and encouraging over the course of the past few years. Your well wishes and motivational insight kept me going when times were really tough and the road ahead looked bleak. Thank you to all my friends in Croatia, Iceland, France, Switzerland, Germany, Belgium, Montenegro, Italy, Spain, Thailand, the US and of course Canada. A very special thank you to my Mother, Sisters, Cousins, Editor and Producer for your unwavering belief in me.